It was novel when they did it with Sean Preston. It was sort of imperative that they do it with the beauteous Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. And okay, I was even willing to let Suri slide because she’d been AWOL for months, and too many people were starting to buy into the ‘L. Ron Hubbard’s frozen sperm alien love child’ rumor.
But I think it’s time we put the kibosh on this celeb baby fever thing, pronto.
But I think it’s time we put the kibosh on this celeb baby fever thing, pronto.
I mean c’mon. Really. The day Nicole Ritchie gets paid a cool mil just for squeezing out a wee one is the day you know mania’s gone too far.
It’s not just the fact that pseudo-celebs are starting to cash in on the hype. Frankly, it’s just starting to feel a little too stalkerish for my liking. It also feels borderline exploitive, from all parties involved.
These kids didn’t ask for this.
If I were SP Federline, or lil Suri Cruise, I’d have some choice words waiting for my folks about the way this whole biz went down, once I grew some teeth in.
And it’d go a little something like this:
“Gee, Mom. Thanks for, you know, selling me out to the ruthless, bloodsucking vultures you claim to detest so much. I know you married up for the fame, but is it really too much to ask that you start me off in life with a fighting chance? It’s bad enough I gotta drink barley & corn syrup baby formula. That shit sucks.”
“And what’s the deal, Dad? I thought you put a premium on privacy, or is that just where your sexual orientation is concerned? You really blew the big one, man. While you’re at it, stop pushing me up so godamned high on the swing set, turkey.”
If Suri and co. grow up to become Paris Hilton knock-offs, or worse, to have their own reality shows on VH1, these celeb-parents will have no one to blame but themselves. In the meantime, they have some gall calling out photogs who prey on their kids when they’re the ones pimping them out in the first place.
For shame!
It’s not just the fact that pseudo-celebs are starting to cash in on the hype. Frankly, it’s just starting to feel a little too stalkerish for my liking. It also feels borderline exploitive, from all parties involved.
These kids didn’t ask for this.
If I were SP Federline, or lil Suri Cruise, I’d have some choice words waiting for my folks about the way this whole biz went down, once I grew some teeth in.
And it’d go a little something like this:
“Gee, Mom. Thanks for, you know, selling me out to the ruthless, bloodsucking vultures you claim to detest so much. I know you married up for the fame, but is it really too much to ask that you start me off in life with a fighting chance? It’s bad enough I gotta drink barley & corn syrup baby formula. That shit sucks.”
“And what’s the deal, Dad? I thought you put a premium on privacy, or is that just where your sexual orientation is concerned? You really blew the big one, man. While you’re at it, stop pushing me up so godamned high on the swing set, turkey.”
If Suri and co. grow up to become Paris Hilton knock-offs, or worse, to have their own reality shows on VH1, these celeb-parents will have no one to blame but themselves. In the meantime, they have some gall calling out photogs who prey on their kids when they’re the ones pimping them out in the first place.
For shame!
(By Shayna Murphy)
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